Love, American Beautiful

My favorite topic to write about is love, partly because love is such a mystery to me. Why do we fall in love with the ones that we do? In the famous words of Charlotte York, do we only get two (or even one) great loves in life? If this is the case–what about soul mates, where the hell does that come in? Love is messy, complicated and hard but at the same time it can be truly beautiful once we begin to understand it.

I was talking to my author friend (who I’ve mentioned before) earlier this week regarding the topic of love. He is one person who feels love deeply and expresses love (specifically for his late wife) better than anyone I have met before. We got on the topic of soul mates and what that term really means. I asked him if he thought that his wife was his soul mate and if that is why he is able to express and talk about his love for her so easily. He pondered for a moment and said, “She was undoubtedly my soul mate. There has never been a moment since I met her that I questioned whether or not we were soul mates. She was and still is the very essence of me.” I anticipated this response from him, but what he followed with got me thinking. He said, “However, my dear girl, I believe that you are my soul mate as well. I believe that I have many soul mates, some women and some men, but all who feed my soul, all who I find comfort in conversing with, and all who I believe are connected with me in a much deeper way.”

There have been countless articles and stories on this subject, however, I wonder if my friend is more in tune with love because he has identified soul mates for himself. The term soul is used to describe the most intimate part of us, the part of us that is wholly authentic and the greatest representation of who we are. The term mate is someone that we choose to spend our time and share our thoughts with. It makes sense that there would be more than one person who we might consider a soul mate.  However, this concept seems to be  much more complex than just deep friendships and relationships — much more transcendent than just a feeling.

I also think that soul mates are developed over time–years in fact. A soul mate is more than someone that we are dating or a close friend. It is someone who, over time, has encouraged us to share bits of our soul with the world. Someone who, when we are with them, has a way of making us believe in the magic of life. Someone who awakens us to a different level of self and who gives the term love a much deeper meaning.

Could it be, that identifying our soul mates will make us more in tune with love? When we have this connection to our soul mates, are we more aware of how important it is to love?

As I have been meditating over this concept, I have come to really recognize who I consider soul mates and why and it really has given me a new understanding of how love impacts my life. When I think of these people, I believe that when I am with them there is truly something magical that happens—that my soul truly becomes alive and rejuvenated. A deeper connection of love. Not romantic love, but that combination of Philia Love and Agape Love, the type of love that we feel empty without, but can’t really place our finger on why.

So friends, find your soul mates. Find those people with whom magic is possible and love is immense.

Love (that real kind),

American Beautiful